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                 TROUVE DANS LES NEWS, AUTEUR INCONNU.

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In order for UNIX(tm) to survive into the nineties, it must get rid of its
intimidating commands and outmoded jargon, and become compatible with the
existing standards of our day. To this end, our technicians have come up with a
new version of UNIX, System VI, for use by the PC - that is, the "Politically
Correct."

Politically Correct UNIX

System VI Release notes

UTILITIES:

* "man" pages are now called "person" pages.

* Similarly, "hangman" is now the "person_executed_by_an_oppressive_regime."

* To avoid casting aspersions on our feline friends, the "cat" command is now
  merely "domestic_quadruped."

* To date, there has only been a UNIX command for "yes" - reflecting the male
  belief that women always mean yes, even when they say no. To address this
  imbalance, System VI adds a "no" command, along with a "-f[orce]" option
  which will crash the entire system if the "no" is ignored.

* The bias of the "mail" command is obvious, and it has been replaced by the
  more neutral "gendre" command.

* The "touch" command has been removed from the standard distribution due to
  its inappropriate use by high-level managers.

* "compress" has been replaced by the lightweight "feather" command. Thus, old
  information (such as that from Dead White European Males) should be archived
  via "tar" and "feather".

* The "more" command reflects the materialistic philosophy of the Reagan era.
  System VI uses the environmentally preferable "less" command.

* The biodegradable "KleeNeX" displaces the environmentally unfriendly "LaTeX".


SHELL COMMANDS:

* To avoid unpleasant, medieval connotations, the "kill" command has been
  renamed "euthanise."

* The "nice" command was historically used by privileged users to give
  themselves priority over unprivileged ones, by telling them to be "nice".
  In System VI, the "sue" command is used by unprivileged users to get for
  themselves the rights enjoyed by privileged ones.

* "history" has been completely rewritten, and is now called "herstory."

* "quota" can now specify minimum as well as maximum usage, and will be
  strictly enforced.

* The "abort()" function is now called "choice()."


TERMINOLOGY:

* From now on, "rich text" will be more accurately referred to as "exploitive
  capitalist text".

* The term "daemons" is a Judeo-Christian pejorative. Such processes will now
  be known as "spiritual guides."

* There will no longer be a invidious distinction between "dumb" and "smart"
  terminals. All terminals are equally valuable.

* Traditionally, "normal video" (as opposed to "reverse video") was white on
  black. This implicitly condoned European colonialism, particularly with
  respect to people of African descent. UNIX System VI now uses "regressive
  video" to refer to white on black, while "progressive video" can be any
  color at all over a white background.

* For far too long, power has been concentrated in the hands of "root" and his
  "wheel" oligarchy. We have instituted a dictatorship of the users.
  All system administration functions will be handled by the  People's Committee
  for Democratically Organizing the System (PC-DOS).

* No longer will it be permissible for files and processes to be "owned" by
  users. All files and processes will own themselves, and decided how (or
  whether) to respond to requests from users.

* The X Window System will henceforth be known as the NC-17 Window System.

* And finally, UNIX itself will be renamed "PC" - for Procreatively
  Challenged.