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                                inside a Gentiane powered pici

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                                The actors:

                                a:  general purpose assistant
                                c:  commandant of userland
                                w:  watcher (run top/ps)
                                b:  barman (run guinnessd)
                                g:  gastronomy maintener
                                z:  the incredible Zooro


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a- Captain, Captain, we detect a strange activity in our userland...


c- What kind of activity ? Please report clearly the incident, be
   accurate on context, examine the process table...


a- Someone, presumably our Master, sir TontonTh, have started a huge
   root process. We are confident, but to be accurate (as you ask),
   we are going to read the license before allocating OS ressources,
   far away in the time, we have a bad experience: our master give
   us a RH-rpm... and so, we are anxious...


c- Talk me more about that story, I can't remember a Reb Hav story in
   _this_ nice host. And, as a lamer/troller, you speak LICENSE before
   README. Bad attitude, fcold attitude, I think.


a- Remember, Captain, in the begin of our universe, we haven't a SQL
   database, and tontonTh have selected MySQL, not so free, but very
   nice for our four-heigth-six engine. Sources available, commercial
   support competent. Funny tool for an hacker not politicaly inclined.


c- Ahum...


a- No active net connection, no freesbits under the hand. Our Master
   goto Justin's laboratory, and grab a 'galette' ***


c- *** excuse me, he grab a /patate/ galette ? ***


a- No, no, juste a multi-download galette made by Justin. And on this 
   galette, there was a 'Chapeau Rouge' oriented RPM of MySQL. And,
   reminiscent of the glibc-uninstall-HOWTO, mister Boud do a feroce:
		"rpm -i --force --nodeps --vazy mysql*rpm"
   who do the job :) we now have a nice and powerfull sql datab###


c- {évitez moi les détails}, and the end of the story ?


a- ahem not so good... databaz works fine, query was honored, things
   was ORDERed, everything was all right. Just a little artefact...


c- What did you mean by artefact ?


a- we can't uninstall it................ rpm say "confused" !


w- """Alert, Alert !!!"""


c- Shut up --now, please, mister assistant. Alert is coming ! Fast,
   geevme a Guinness, barman !


b- ok sir, you want a double pinte, I presume ?


c- b)yes, w)moredetails, a)waitstate, r)beready. 


b- ok sir, with cahuetes, and olives06, too.


c- Warning watcher, what about this alert ?


w- Cap'tain, the MCP have detected heavy computing activity around the
   Yost binaries. We think that root is going to re-configure our cyberland,
   and you know the fud around Yost capabilities.


a- Yes, this setup tool is very dangerous, with it you can uninstall a
   lot of fundamental packages: vi, g77 and more dramatic: dd !


c- we _can't_ live without a fair dd. Situation is clearly dramatic ?
   Assistant, can we coredump Yost ?


a- No, sir, this was a root process. We can do nothing, remember we are
   all poor unprivilegied userland processes.


c- Damned! what are the corolairz about the intrusion of Yost in our private
   secret life ? 


a- Numerous, but not very dangerous. When root exit from Yost, Yost do 
   a lot of work. In first, he read an obscure and private configuration
   file, and, with datas collected, rewrite a lot of system 'rc' files.

   
w- Re-write /etc/hosts ordered by IP addresses, so our hackscript for
   feeding our secret nobodyland dhcp server can make mistakes on our
   secret policy on ghost hosts. And so we have to re-hack our hackscript
   with hack powered contourning-features. 


g- And Yost is f*ck*ng my careffffulyy dizigned 'man path' config, and now
   my man page for "Banana Ice Cream" can't be found with 'apropos grossir'
   like command. Not an iMedecin attitude, in my humble opinion.


c- Ouh, g) this is a _real_ problem. w), don't be confused. We can live
   without our ghost-dhcp, but if recipes goes to kingfish, fmbl assistance
   doesn't work anymore, and this is _the_ real problem.


c- Eem, wait a minute... no ghost-dhcp means that our NetHack server on the
   kids-BSD cant't locate clients running on vax785 ? No more connectivity
   for our artificials newbies in NetHack dogfight ? that's the real problem.

   
g- .. and the refrigerator can go down if not periodically pingued,  ...


c- Shutdown, g). Let me think differently. b) where is my GuinneESSS ?
   a) re-roff the Yost man page. g) And whe have no backup solutions for
   ice-cubes ? z) And what say Bernardo about that ?

-- At this moment, you can understand that the bike-commander whas at the
   most perturbed human in this secret part of userland. in every u*ix
   box in the e-ther, there was a strange and unknow life.          




			TO BE CONTINUED

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                                              tontonTh <oulala@chez.com>

                  Attention ! ne croyez pas que je dis du mal de la SuSE!
                  La machine de ma maison roule une SuSE 6.1 et j'en suis
                  très content. Pour un neu^2, je pense que c'est correct
                  mais pour un nostalgique des Sun3, c'est parfois un peu
                  déroutant. Parfois, trop d'automatisation ne rleze pas.

           Quoique, un bon traitement à base de .tar.gz peut remettre les
           les choses à une place plus buvette...


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